Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
