I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize