My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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