the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
