Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
