God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have tasted many bathrooms
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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