White coat. Heels.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
