i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
