did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
