I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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