ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
