You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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