Your tits are I can't wait for
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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