Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
