So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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