with your own penis?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
