Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
