I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
