I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
a search helicopter?!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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