uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it was like eating out sand paper
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
