I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Even my vagina gasped.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
