bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
