why didn't you poke me back
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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