2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
