Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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