Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
