Define "chronic" masturbator.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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