My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
