problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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