Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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