why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
