I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
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I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
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Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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