Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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