i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
