Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
