Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
