he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize