You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This house was built for laser tag.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
