so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
