Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
