Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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