I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
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I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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