If i come over, it means nothing
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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