I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
