oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
