Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
