This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
