is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
