Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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