She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
...so i touched it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
