He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
