awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you win again, gameday.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
