Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...