Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going