Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

My cock was attacked by outdoor plants

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(804): View more from Virginia

And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively

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(601): View more from Mississippi

He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.

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(661): View more from California

May God have mercy on my new vibrator.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs

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