Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,

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  (203): these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them, http://tfl.nu/bifo
  Replies (13) Good night (918) Bad night (3461)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.

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  (404): Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom. http://tfl.nu/7own
  Replies (20) Good night (1006) Bad night (3077)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license

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  (813): i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license http://tfl.nu/t0ir
  Replies (13) Good night (5539) Bad night (651)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed

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  (732): i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed http://tfl.nu/l1mh
  Replies (17) Good night (1150) Bad night (3563)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.

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  (214): Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry. http://tfl.nu/h3dm
  Replies (20) Good night (2579) Bad night (1031)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.

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  (715): We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay. http://tfl.nu/aupb
  Replies (16) Good night (4922) Bad night (1335)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."

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  (828): I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke." http://tfl.nu/rseq
  Replies (48) Good night (1441) Bad night (9866)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.

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  (570): martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/krux
  Replies (13) Good night (3212) Bad night (808)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"

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  (303): Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional. (970): Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?" http://tfl.nu/doci
  Replies (8) Good night (3523) Bad night (869)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"

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  (631): I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone" http://tfl.nu/bfbc
  Replies (5) Good night (2671) Bad night (575)
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  (310): View more from California

  It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal

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  (310): It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal http://tfl.nu/wa0q
  Replies (32) Good night (1272) Bad night (921)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."

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  (325): We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget." http://tfl.nu/mx4s
  Replies (4) Good night (1977) Bad night (588)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this

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  (971): I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this http://tfl.nu/ssq4
  Replies (4) Good night (418) Bad night (957)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.

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  (703): You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/3xuk
  Replies (0) Good night (849) Bad night (307)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text

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  (727): idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text http://tfl.nu/1tkt
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (245)

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