Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.

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(949): Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever. http://tfl.nu/rea8

Replies (358) Good night (24458) Bad night (7571)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.

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(208): I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid. http://tfl.nu/h0xq

Replies (11) Good night (756) Bad night (2421)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"

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(870): You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call" http://tfl.nu/7z02

Replies (29) Good night (9937) Bad night (847)
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(475): View more from Connecticut

just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles

(1-475): View more from Connecticut

exact location. now.

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(475): just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles (1-475): exact location. now. http://tfl.nu/2i9v

Replies (26) Good night (1577) Bad night (3525)
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(443): View more from Maryland

i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list

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(443): i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list http://tfl.nu/fyip

Replies (18) Good night (4826) Bad night (722)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.

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(256): I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them. http://tfl.nu/zwx2

Replies (31) Good night (1351) Bad night (5328)
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(631): View more from New York

Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america

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(631): Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america http://tfl.nu/n1lq

Replies (27) Good night (8295) Bad night (1082)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk

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(843): four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk http://tfl.nu/6prh

Replies (27) Good night (3363) Bad night (873)
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(847): View more from Illinois

He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.

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(847): He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street. http://tfl.nu/tq30

Replies (7) Good night (3009) Bad night (1045)
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(614): View more from Ohio

ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund

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(614): ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund http://tfl.nu/czuk

Replies (8) Good night (2590) Bad night (1348)
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(614): View more from Ohio

2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.

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(614): 2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever. http://tfl.nu/992h

Replies (15) Good night (2646) Bad night (654)
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(630): View more from Illinois

You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

I don't even want to know

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(630): You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican. (1-630): I don't even want to know http://tfl.nu/s13d

Replies (3) Good night (1184) Bad night (542)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money

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(403): Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money http://tfl.nu/gvry

Replies (6) Good night (1622) Bad night (1002)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear

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(336): I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear http://tfl.nu/gomj

Replies (6) Good night (1311) Bad night (595)
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(631): View more from New York

The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.

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(631): The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute. http://tfl.nu/4jz7

Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (892)

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