I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.