I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
