she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
