well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
