she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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