why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
