i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
not ubering you a puppy
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