Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize