i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
