Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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