So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
