I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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